Why Boundaries Aren’t Selfish—They’re Essential
by Alexandra Janelli, CEO & Hypnotherapist at Go burble
We talk a lot about boundaries—but rarely are we taught how to set them or why they matter so deeply.
At its heart, a boundary is a declaration: I matter too. It’s not about pushing people away. It’s about protecting your energy, honoring your truth, and creating space for real connection.
Yet many of us struggle with setting boundaries because we were raised to be agreeable, accommodating, or avoid conflict at all costs. We fear being “too much,” “too cold,” or “too difficult.” But healthy boundaries don’t make you unkind—they make you clear.
When you set boundaries, you’re not closing yourself off—you’re opening your life to relationships that are rooted in respect, not resentment.
Try This: A Guided Visualization to Create Your Boundary Space
Close your eyes and picture yourself standing in an open field. The air is calm. The light is soft.
Now, imagine drawing a circle around yourself on the ground. This is your energetic space—your emotional home. Slowly, a glowing fence begins to rise along the line. It’s not a wall. It’s not rigid. It’s protective, yet inviting. The fence has a gate. You hold the key.
Take a moment to feel what it’s like to stand inside your space. How does it feel to know you’re safe here? That you get to choose who enters, how long they stay, and how they treat you?
Let yourself absorb that truth:
“My boundaries are not for anyone else’s comfort. They are for my peace.”
Journal Prompt:
What does a boundary mean to me?
If it sounds scary, how can I reframe it to feel empowering?
Where in my life do I feel drained or resentful—and what boundary might be missing there?
What would it feel like to set that boundary with kindness and confidence?
What am I afraid will happen if I set it—and what might actually happen instead?
What Happens When You Have No Boundaries:
Emotional exhaustion – You feel constantly drained, even from small interactions.
People-pleasing – You say “yes” when you want to say “no,” often out of guilt or fear.
Resentment – Over time, unspoken needs turn into frustration and bitterness toward others.
Loss of identity – You struggle to know what you want or feel, because you’re so focused on others.
Difficulty making decisions – You second-guess yourself or look to others for approval.
Chronic stress or anxiety – Your nervous system is stuck in a loop of over-giving, overdoing, and never feeling safe to rest.
Low self-worth – You begin to believe your needs, time, or energy don’t matter as much as others'.
Burnout – Physically and emotionally, you hit a breaking point. Your body may begin to signal this with fatigue, illness, or overwhelm.
Codependent relationships – You find yourself in unbalanced relationships where your needs are ignored or minimized.
Fear of conflict – You avoid difficult conversations and bottle things up, which only builds more tension.
Start small. Boundaries don’t have to be loud to be powerful. Sometimes the most transformative boundaries are quiet: a pause, a decline, a redirect of your time and energy.
At burble, we just launched a new category called Creating Boundaries. It’s a series to help you feel more grounded, confident, and empowered as you learn to set boundaries in a way that feels natural—not forced.
Because you deserve to take up space. You deserve to feel safe in your life and in your body. And you deserve to say yes to yourself.